Kaiser & Reece_Diverse Sources Interview
ANONYMOUS, 21
MALE
WAITER & FORMER TEXAS STATE STUDENT
SAN MARCOS, TEXAS
How would you define sexual assault?
He defines sexual assault as taking advantage of or using another person’s body for yourself without their consent, whether that’s without their consent while sober, unconscious, or them giving consent while intoxicated.
Have you previously experienced or witnessed sexual assault? If so, explain.
From the ages of 8-11 he was one of multiple kids assaulted by an older child.
What can you do, personally, to prevent sexual assault?
He says that asking questions regarding sexual assault is seen as taboo and they are often avoided because they make people uncomfortable.
“I feel that people can be more confident, people tend to be reserved and don’t want to make these claims.”
“If you have suspicions, you have every right to try to confirm those suspicions.”
What should Texas State do to discourage/condemn sexual assault, and how can they better help the victim(s) on campus?
“They should find a way to make it right rather than just say, ‘Well come talk to us about it.”
He said rather than only giving the option to talk to a counselor who speaks with multiple students a day and works at the university where the assault happened, a way to better help victims would be to give them the funds to find a counselor they are comfortable speaking with.
ZOE ZALENSKI, 21
FEMALE
JUNIOR AT TEXAS STATE
"I have previously experienced and witnessed sexual assault. My first experience with sexual assault was less than a week after my 17th birthday. My parents went out of town for a weekend and I invited my first boyfriend over on one of the nights they were gone. He took my virginity without my consent after I clearly stated that I did not want to have sex. I didn’t tell anyone and kept all my pain to myself for years."
"Four days before my first day of classes at Texas State, one of my best friends and I went to a few frat parties. At the last one, she was dancing with someone and I made the mistake of leaving her alone with him. He took her upstairs at the house party we were at and took advantage of her. She took legal action with Texas State and I had to testify as a witness. Unfortunately, all of the charges were dropped and he didn’t face any consequences. But my friend was destroyed."
"It happened to me a few times more during my college career. I was at a friend’s house and something was slipped into my drink to sedate me. I woke up at around 3:30pm the next day and knew in my gut that something bad had happened. Numerous times I said no, but just not loud enough."
"The last time it happened, I was on a date and he took me back to his apartment. I clearly stated at a point that I didn’t want to go any further. His response before taking advantage of me was “you should be enjoying this”. He forced me to look in the mirror and watch what was happening. And I felt powerless. I think that’s the hardest thing to feel - Not being able to defend yourself. To feel that you’re too weak to fight back and it wouldn’t even make a difference. Your body kind of freezes from that kind of panic. Time feels like it stops. I remember counting the individual beads on the ceiling one time, attempting to do anything to allow me to disassociate from what was really happening. Trying to somehow make time start moving again, so it could be over with."
"That feeling really stuck with me for years, until I finally learned how to gain strength. I had to firmly believe that I have the power to set boundaries for myself and I will never let myself be shut down like that again."
"I feel as if the “Not On My Campus” does a great job at bringing awareness to the cause. I feel like the more attention is brought to the issue, the better. I know so many women that have been victims to this kind of tragedy that go to Texas State."
"When my friend attempted to take legal action through the school, it didn’t go well. I’m not educated in exactly what that legal process looks like, so I don’t feel as if I’m in a position to directly criticize it. However, I feel like it could definitely be made easier for students that are already going through so much. I remember it being difficult to find information to testify for my friend, much less actually creating a case."
"I also feel like specialized therapists for sexual assault specifically would benefit sexual assault survivors. In my case, seeking a therapist for what I went through has been incredibly daunting. It’s something that’s extremely difficult to talk about. I would feel more comfortable talking to someone that specializes in helping sexual assault victims and not just general help. Because I feel like sexual assault is different than other kinds of trauma. It can completely strip victims of their identity and cause turmoil in every element of their life. I’ve personally experienced trust issues, touch aversion, and emotional distress.
"Texas State should have specialized help for individuals experiencing this kind of trauma, especially because of how many students have been affected."
MADELINE CHAM PEY WILEY, 21
FEMALE
JUNIOR AT TEXAS STATE
How would you define sexual assault?
MALE
WAITER & FORMER TEXAS STATE STUDENT
SAN MARCOS, TEXAS
How would you define sexual assault?
He defines sexual assault as taking advantage of or using another person’s body for yourself without their consent, whether that’s without their consent while sober, unconscious, or them giving consent while intoxicated.
Have you previously experienced or witnessed sexual assault? If so, explain.
From the ages of 8-11 he was one of multiple kids assaulted by an older child.
What can you do, personally, to prevent sexual assault?
He says that asking questions regarding sexual assault is seen as taboo and they are often avoided because they make people uncomfortable.
“I feel that people can be more confident, people tend to be reserved and don’t want to make these claims.”
“If you have suspicions, you have every right to try to confirm those suspicions.”
What should Texas State do to discourage/condemn sexual assault, and how can they better help the victim(s) on campus?
“They should find a way to make it right rather than just say, ‘Well come talk to us about it.”
He said rather than only giving the option to talk to a counselor who speaks with multiple students a day and works at the university where the assault happened, a way to better help victims would be to give them the funds to find a counselor they are comfortable speaking with.
ZOE ZALENSKI, 21
FEMALE
JUNIOR AT TEXAS STATE
How would you define sexual
assault?
"I
would define sexual assault as any sexual act that takes place despite someone
not consenting. Intimacy should only happen when consent is clearly established
between both partners. In a case where a person may not have the ability to
communicate their boundaries, such as someone under the influence of alcohol,
it shouldn’t be assumed that they consent. Not saying yes is the same thing as
saying no."
Have you previously experienced
or witnessed sexual assault? If so, explain?
"I have previously experienced and witnessed sexual assault. My first experience with sexual assault was less than a week after my 17th birthday. My parents went out of town for a weekend and I invited my first boyfriend over on one of the nights they were gone. He took my virginity without my consent after I clearly stated that I did not want to have sex. I didn’t tell anyone and kept all my pain to myself for years."
"Four days before my first day of classes at Texas State, one of my best friends and I went to a few frat parties. At the last one, she was dancing with someone and I made the mistake of leaving her alone with him. He took her upstairs at the house party we were at and took advantage of her. She took legal action with Texas State and I had to testify as a witness. Unfortunately, all of the charges were dropped and he didn’t face any consequences. But my friend was destroyed."
"It happened to me a few times more during my college career. I was at a friend’s house and something was slipped into my drink to sedate me. I woke up at around 3:30pm the next day and knew in my gut that something bad had happened. Numerous times I said no, but just not loud enough."
"The last time it happened, I was on a date and he took me back to his apartment. I clearly stated at a point that I didn’t want to go any further. His response before taking advantage of me was “you should be enjoying this”. He forced me to look in the mirror and watch what was happening. And I felt powerless. I think that’s the hardest thing to feel - Not being able to defend yourself. To feel that you’re too weak to fight back and it wouldn’t even make a difference. Your body kind of freezes from that kind of panic. Time feels like it stops. I remember counting the individual beads on the ceiling one time, attempting to do anything to allow me to disassociate from what was really happening. Trying to somehow make time start moving again, so it could be over with."
"That feeling really stuck with me for years, until I finally learned how to gain strength. I had to firmly believe that I have the power to set boundaries for myself and I will never let myself be shut down like that again."
What can you do, personally, to
prevent sexual assault?
"I had to
learn how to figure out exactly what I was comfortable with and then being able
to loudly state that. I had to learn to love my body and acquire this intense
need to protect it at all costs."
"No
matter where you’re going, be aware of what’s happening around you and be
smart. I’ve been taught how to be safe for most of my life - safety in numbers,
don’t set down your drink at a bar, don’t wear headphones when you’re walking
alone at night."
"Don’t leave your friends alone when
they’re intoxicated and dancing with some random guy. Stand up for yourself and
for those who surround you. Remember to hold yourself to the standard that you
deserve and don’t let anyone disrespect you - Ever. You are worth so much more
than to ever be forced to do anything that you don’t want to do. Always
remember that."
What should Texas State
University do to discourage/condemn sexual assault, and how can they better
help the victim(s) on campus?
"I feel as if the “Not On My Campus” does a great job at bringing awareness to the cause. I feel like the more attention is brought to the issue, the better. I know so many women that have been victims to this kind of tragedy that go to Texas State."
"When my friend attempted to take legal action through the school, it didn’t go well. I’m not educated in exactly what that legal process looks like, so I don’t feel as if I’m in a position to directly criticize it. However, I feel like it could definitely be made easier for students that are already going through so much. I remember it being difficult to find information to testify for my friend, much less actually creating a case."
"I also feel like specialized therapists for sexual assault specifically would benefit sexual assault survivors. In my case, seeking a therapist for what I went through has been incredibly daunting. It’s something that’s extremely difficult to talk about. I would feel more comfortable talking to someone that specializes in helping sexual assault victims and not just general help. Because I feel like sexual assault is different than other kinds of trauma. It can completely strip victims of their identity and cause turmoil in every element of their life. I’ve personally experienced trust issues, touch aversion, and emotional distress.
"Texas State should have specialized help for individuals experiencing this kind of trauma, especially because of how many students have been affected."
MADELINE CHAM PEY WILEY, 21
FEMALE
JUNIOR AT TEXAS STATE
How would you define sexual assault?
"Sexual assault is when a man or woman is being
sexually active with a human, that does not want this sexual encounter to occur.
This is completely off guard and not planned from the victim’s point of view."
Have you previously experienced or
witnessed sexual assault? If so, explain?
"I have not previously experienced or witnessed
sexual assault. I am happy to say this very much. With that being said, I am
aware that it is something that happens and it is important to educate myself
on this topic."
What can you do, personally, to prevent
sexual assault?
"I can protect myself by hanging out in friendly
groups that I am comfortable with being alone with. I will never be out on the
streets or on campus past 12PM. I will always have a buddy walk me home or be
on the phone with my friends as I am walking home safely, to make it seem like
I am occupied and to show that I can call 911, if need be, in worse case
scenarios. Another thing I will do is check my surroundings wherever I go."
What should Texas State University do to
discourage/condemn sexual assault, and how can they better help the victim(s)
on campus?
"They can illustrate to students that there is
help on campus, if someone needs to talk to someone, such as a counselor.
Another thing is to talk about what is expected and what is not expected at
school and outside of schools. Personal space is something that could be
addressed and how to react when people say no to something. There is always the
right to say no to something and it is important to stand up for yourself. If
you do not feel safe, then contact a counselor or talk to friends and family.
Let them know that there is always more than one option in doing something that
could be good or maybe a poor choice too."
Comments
Post a Comment